First Day of School
With wife on blacktop
Good morning Principal Rose
Monsignor, "Bless you!"
Mothers to and fro
Some looking down and around
Kids demand distance
Drive away, the years
I stood on that blacktop once
At work, find fly down
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Keep an Extra Pair of Undies Ready
Chart of the Day:
Except for a brief counter-trend rally in July, the stock market has struggled since peaking in late April. Investors are concerned. For some perspective, today's chart presents the Dow's average performance for each calendar month since 1950. As today's chart illustrates, it is not unusual for the stock market to underperform during the May to October time frame with a brief counter-trend rally occurring in July. It is worth noting that the worst calendar month for stock market performance (i.e. September) is fast approaching.
Friday, August 20, 2010
First Taste: Rickard's White
Brew: Rickard's White
Brewer: Molson Canada
Sydney Brillo Duodenum's little bitch, and second official reader, Waldie Duester, recently returned from his century or so old family haunt on a crisp green speckled Canadian lake, the kind created by God to house that flawless creature the loon so He could give real purpose to the human sense of hearing and allow the human soul to be haunted by the divine. Because he is ever in SBD's debt, Waldie is under orders to fetch beer whenever on travel. Not just any beer, but local craft beer or beer of a national origin that is unavailable in the United States. Duester usually returns empty handed with some sorry ass excuse about not being near a package store or having to have his pubes waxed or some such pussy bullshit. But yesterday Duester arrived with a large travel cold bag clutched securely under his arm like some bank truck monkey moving a money bag through a bank lobby. SBD could only imagine the liquid delights within; perhaps a Schleimhammer Roggenbier from Toronto's Mill Street Brewery or the newly born Lake of Bays Pale Ale from Muskoka. Ever the dramatician, Waldie mindfreaked the bag with his hands and withdrew a Rickard's White, affecting a worried grimace as the Rickard's clinked against bottles of Molson EX and Labatts 50, in false fear of one jostle too many compromising the delicate chemistry captured in amber. Rickard's - a "wheat ale brewed with orange peel and coriander." Sound familiar? Your host played along, although he was not played by this charlatan, for the Rickard's White is nothing less than (or more than) Blue Moon, created by Coors back in 1995 and upon the merger of Coors with Molson, offered in Canada as Rickard's White. So Mr. Duester Bitch has brought back from Canada what SBD could procure from the Montgomery County, MD liquor nanny, and in a much prettier bottle, and thus Duester goes deeper into debt to Bank SBD.
There's no need to review the Rickard's White. As said, it's Blue Moon. It's much like a bowl of oat bran watered down with orange juice and left on the counter overnight so a mouse can cross over it at 2:34 am to add a bit of its urine, which in the right quantities instills a lemony citrus effect such as might be imparted by cooking with crushed coriander seeds.
There was more in Mr. Duester's bag of tricks but reviews of those brews will have to wait while SBD works to flush this trauma from his system with coffee and diuretics.
Update:
SBD has been informed that he is an ungrateful dick. He agrees. Amends are in the offing.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Make it stop!
The funniest, most absurd, balls and dick swinging wildly in the air, watch-what-I-can-get-away-with piece of mendacity encountered yet this year.
Via twitter.
The twit?
President Barack Obama.
Via twitter.
The voices of millions of Americans shouldn't be drowned out by millions of dollars in secret, special-interest advertising.
The twit?
President Barack Obama.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
A Very Good Boy
Sydney Brillo Dog passed away on Sunday. He was a very good boy.
A gentle, good natured shepherd and chow mix rescued from the mean streets of Passaic County, New Jersey in 1996, he brought love, joy and laughter to his pack. A constant companion and home sentry, he offered regularity and certainty in the whirlwind of human affairs and contrivances. He represented home and the responsibilities attending to it. He started our day and he ended our day, and at the end of the day, any day, he would be there in regal repose, cashing out the affairs of the day in sleep, a reminder that the next day is a new one of opportunity.
Defiler of rugs, burner of lawns, licker of kitchen dishwasher plates, scratcher of wood floors, devourer of kitchen can garbage, chaser of squirrels, listener of approaching peril, heaver of gargantuan sighs, comfy chair aficionado.
A very social beast, of visitors he demanded at least five minutes of your dedicated attention to the scruff of his neck or, in his youth, a few minutes with your leg.
He suffered the indignities of babies, of banishment to the basement, and the existence of cats.
An ingenious member of his species, he spent much of his free time observing his surroundings for any opportunity to eat. Long suspected of a string of food disappearances, highlights of his career are said to include the ninja like removal from the back of the kitchen counter of a platter of twelve raw tenderloin steaks awaiting the barbeque; a birthday cake; a loaf of bread scored from the grocery bag as it was being carried into the house; and 12 goody bags full of candy left carelessly on a playroom floor.
His favorite walks included Jockey Hollow National Park in Morristown, NJ; the beaches of Delaware; the C&O Canal Tow Path; the Westland Middle School field; and, in these last years, the streets and grass path near his house in Maryland for short walks to school.
No one rode shotgun like him.
Spring offered sweet, green shoots of grass for his casual consumption; snow astounded him; he loved to stretch out on a 100 degree deck; and every pile of Fall leaves required several minutes of olfactory forensics.
A great and loyal animal, his loss will be felt across the seasons.
He was a very good boy.
Rest in Peace.
Friday, June 25, 2010
What News of the Swallowtail?
Sydney Brillo Duodenum pays close attention to his neighborhood e-mail list serve. As SBD resides in an enclave of liberal fantasists, there's constant news of Earth's peril. Today, we have this:
Now this week, in no particular order . . .I'm starting to get nervous. Last year by this time we saw many Eastern Tiger Swallowtail butterflies flitting around our backyard, along with other butterflies that were less numerous.
This year, nothing.
Not one butterfly, even though we probably have more birds, many of which are raising young. Those are cardinal, robin, catbird, house wren, carolina wren, house finch.
Has anyone seen the swallowtail in their yards?
The president's handpicked commander for the defining American conflict overseas and his elite handpicked staff are caught with their ACUs about their ankles as they are felated by a reporter from a music review magazine and speak unkind thoughts of the putative leader of the free world and his chosen emissaries, leading to the commander's resignation, the elevation of another tactician once accused of betraying his country, our national humiliation, but a firm declaration from the goat skinned Fourth Estate that the CinC's handling of the entire affair was "brilliant."
Sixty years since the commence of hostilities, North Korea threatens war daily upon their civilized brothers to the south while the United States figures out how much food and fuel they'll need to hand over to buy some more time and global humiliation.
The American president wantonly sits on the assets, might and reach of the deepest bureaucratic construct in human history, preventing a competent and focused response to the largest man-made environmental disaster in the country's history because allowing a bigger mess to destroy a wider swath of the country's southern water barrier might make it easier for him to pass a 2,000 page bill that will make it illegal to use a wood burning stove in Vermont.
An American president eats designer hamburgers with the puppet-jowled Russian president, declaring a successful "reset" of relations with the nation that during almost the entire 20th Century was focused entirely upon diminishing and pushing back American military, political, economic, cultural and social influence - in effect the standard of liberty and freedom - across the globe.
America's unceasing enemy of 31 years, Iran, proceeds merrily along on the production of nuclear material for use in regional ballistic missiles and as tools of the terror trade while the United States grandly announces a new set of sanctions that close huge holes in the last set of sanctions that Iran was able to slip through.
The United States Congress has passed another 2,000 page legislative monstrosity to address alleged financial structure weaknesses threatening to stop the unstarted economic recovery after the largest government intervention into the messy affairs of men ever, and the immediate result is that bank stocks soar, indicating quite clearly that another major sector of the economy has fully accepted its corporatist role vis a vis its government masters.
The child playing dress up as the United States Treasury Secretary casually admits to a UK audience that the world "cannot depend as much on the US as it did in the past."
Whereas in the past a pothead might shoot or knife a drug dealer in a back alley and steal his stash and cash, today they are walking into "marijauna dispensaries," gunning down the paid employees, and stealing the stash and cash.
Pressed to the wall, the Governor of the Bankrupt State of California, declaring that he will "use every available power . . . to protect taxpayers from waste, fraud and abuse in government,'' is forced to ban the use of welfare debit cards to withdraw cash at ATMs located at tribal casinos and state-licensed poker rooms.
The United States edges ever closer to Europussification with every advance it makes in the World Cup.
The Democrat-controlled United States Congress, fearful of losing that control in November, while happy that the Supreme Court found that unions have a right to free speech in their participation in our electoral processes but chagrined that the Supreme Court found that corporations as well have a right to free speech in their participation in our electoral processes, passed legislation that would make it harder for one set of Americans - in the form of corporations - to exercise their right of free speech and would make it easier for another set of Americans - in the form of unions - to exercise their right of free speech.
A group of concerned assholes in New York is set to sue McDonald's because they claim McDonald's "creepy and predatory" Happy Meal is violating numerous consumer protection laws by entising children into its restaurants where they are forced to buy and consume fat ladden fast food unbeknownst to their parents. McDonald's announced that the claims are ludicrous and at the same time announced they are changing their name to Pied Piper's Burgerland.
The American president's choice for the Supreme Court Elena Kagan . . .
Oh, yes, yes, yes . . .
. . . but what news of the swallowtail?
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