The Great Observor of Humanity

Lileks takes a cruise:

Last of all, the old fat men who have spent a lifetime building their belly and walk around with it hanging out, white and hairy, like a trophy they won for finding their mouths with their hands. The biggest of them lie pasted in the deck chairs, basting in the Caribbean sun, looking like bombs waiting to go off and shower the rest with a spatter of guts and undigested cheesecake.

Read all of it. Hilarious and true.