Apple has decreed that smoke residue inside a computer presents a health risk and a "biohazard," and in [two] reported cases [on Macs exposed to cigarette smoke] customers were denied service, despite having a valid warranty. Apple says that repair centers have the authority to decide whether to service smoky computers, citing OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health
Administration) rules that include nicotine in a list of hazardous substances that could damage the health of someone exposed to them.
However, this is not listed anywhere in the Apple computer warranty's fine print. That means an aggressive consumer might be able to put up a good fight and win the right to repairs.
SBD's contacts inform him that Apple's secret list of harmful substances includes residue from Yankee Candle Company's Red Apple Wreath candles, male-specific residues (crossed matched against browser cookies), spittle drops on the screen, Doritos seasonings in the keyboard, non-Fair Trade dried coffee spills, fecal matter left behind while surfing on the john, cat litter, and any computer exposed to human breath, said to contain the global warming gas, CO2.