Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Priorities In the Midst of Climate Change

Sydney Brillo Duodenum has been preoccupied with Winter's Fury. Although small, his domicile requires constant attention during the climate challenge that has strucken the Nation's Capital. Eighteen inches or so cover the small plot of dirt that is Sydney Brillo Manor. The first order of business is to maintain a 360 degree perimeter of access to the structure. The backyard requires a warren of trenches to allow Sydney Brillo Dog unfettered access to his smells and any fallen bird seed. Of equal importance is the reestablishment of parking territory directly in front of the house and 30 feet on either side. This frenzy of constant ice chipping and pruning of snow trenches on the front walks necessitates a larger than normal consumption of high fructose corn syrup, lard and malted beverages. Keeping these duties straight has been challenging, but SBD is putting to good use a simple trick to stay on target.

This list is even more important as SBD just now espies the first tiny frozen messengers of the next blizzard promised to reduce the capital of Lady Hopeandchange into an eyeball scratching, last-packet-of-bacon-snatching hell-bitch.

Even before the promised foot or more of Round Two has fallen, county schools have simply decided that they are not up to the task of entertaining our children with their latest mind experiments for the rest of the week. SBD awaits word from the U.S. Office of Personnel Management as to whether it will unleash that wave of human destruction known as the federal workforce, calling them downtown to conduct the business of the Educated Class.

Regardless, SBD will not be distracted from his list.