Thursday, March 18, 2010


The March cheeses have arrived.

The Roaring 40's Blue from King Island, located south of Melbourne at the Western end of Bass Strait. All of that is in Australia. Named both for the treacherous westerly winds that blow directly down 40 degrees S Longitude between King Island and the Australian mainland and the treacherous wind you'll be passing upon consumption of this honeyed, slightly nutty milk nougat, the basis for the culture is entirely cow's milk, assaulted by an injection of Roquefort style mold. To enjoy this delight, SBD shall allow the cheese to fully come to room temperature and cast forth its deep, treacherous aromas, and, upon the gasping departure from the house of Mrs. SBD, Sydney Brillo Daughter, and Sydney Brillo "Who Cut the Cheese" Junior, SBD shall smear a generous quantity on a fresh tear of still warm French bread. Being his own man, he will eschew the monger's recommendation to pair it with an Australian Shiraz, choosing instead to quaf a very cold, sweaty bottle of Budweiser.

The second wedge is the Morbier Du Livradois, a pretentious sounding piece of hard milk with peasant origins, as it was originally made by the cheesemaker for the cheesemaker. Two hundred years ago this means the cheesemaker taking the leftover crap from crafting more desirable cheeses, and if the pigs won't eat it, figuring out how to make something of it for whichever of his childre might have survived the winter. Thus, it is comprised of leftover curds from the production of Comte cheese. At the end of the day, the cheesemaker takes leftover curds, presses them into a round and then covers them with edible vegetable ash (!); the next morning, he presses another layer of unwanted curds on top of that. So, what appears to be a vein of "blue" in this cheese is actually ash, which in many countries would be considered a form of trash, but which in France becomes a key ingredient. To enjoy this invention, SBD shall prepare a number of robust slices, laid gently upon Original Triscuits. As its flavor is complex and fruity, and the ash layer is bold and complex, this snack shall be beaten into compliance by a Sam Adams Nobel Pils.

Lastly, our shipment contains the Cantal, one of the oldest European cheeses still produced, and, according to Pliny the Elder, a favorite of Rome. Essentially a French cheddar cheese, our variation is the Cantalete Dore, offering a soft, slightly sour hazelnut core. To enjoy this ancient truth, SBD shall thinly shave the wedge using his double-edge razor. As no cracker based on ancient Roman recipes is presently offered by Nabisco, SBD will eat the cheese without benefit of fiber. Always a dangerous thing when working with cheese, but for lubrication, SBD will pour what remains of the Budweiser and the Sam Adams into a Guinness branded pint glass.

These are but a few of life's offered pleasures.