Late this afternoon, following his office's "Holiday Party," Sydney Brillo Duodenum ventured forth from his government issued sanctuary to search the shops of the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History and the Museum of Natural History for Christmas presents for friends and family. He visited six shops, stores, and kiosks, breaking off every now and then to view the Star Spangled Banner, the Price of Freedom: Americans At War exhibit, and freakish marine creatures. He found nothing. Rather, he found nothing worth the bother of toting back across the windswept Mall to his building, such as a 15 pound giant paperweight mollusk carved in Morocco from a block of granite. It's not a fossil, though, just the Moroccan craftsman's idea of what a mollusk might look like if it were discovered embedded in what really should serve as a kitchen counter top. A steal, nevertheless, at 50% off its $99 price tag. There were many substantial books, all with substantial price tags and all obtainable at a serious discount from Amazon or Barnes and Noble. The toys were "meh" and the clothes all stamped with the name of the museum and so serving only the purpose of reminding a tourist where they spent a few days while visiting Washington. None of it inspired and nobody was present to force a decision on the mollusks.
Upon exiting the Natural History Museum, SBD was alerted to a voicemail. It was Sydney Brillo Duodenum Jr., on duty with his mother at another national mall, breathlessly and earnestly asking if his aunt's boyfriend, "Dan," who just barely passes the "can I call him uncle" test, would wear an XXL or XL Under Armour t-shirt. In an effort to build SBD Jr.'s strength in making tough choices without the benefit of authoritarian input, the call went unreturned. Although, if the message had been heard earlier, "Uncle Dan" would be getting a fake Moroccan mollusk for Christmas.
Upon exiting the Natural History Museum, SBD was alerted to a voicemail. It was Sydney Brillo Duodenum Jr., on duty with his mother at another national mall, breathlessly and earnestly asking if his aunt's boyfriend, "Dan," who just barely passes the "can I call him uncle" test, would wear an XXL or XL Under Armour t-shirt. In an effort to build SBD Jr.'s strength in making tough choices without the benefit of authoritarian input, the call went unreturned. Although, if the message had been heard earlier, "Uncle Dan" would be getting a fake Moroccan mollusk for Christmas.
