Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Kid's A Punk

“We were in the middle of a corruption crime spree and we wanted to stop it.” - US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, describing the move to arrest Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich

Really, Elliot Ness?

A crime spree. The middle of a crime spree. Spreeing crime. The middle. Like a bank robber with a list of ten banks he's going to hit, but who is brought down by Barney Fife after taking #5 on the list, the Mayberry Savings and Loan.

So, that means we have a beginning and, indeed, it's laid out quite nicely in the indictment. Apparently all the way back to 2002. Reading the indictment, we see that corruption and extortion were a daily concern of Gov. Blagojevich, albeit all on behalf of the good citizens of Illinois.

Today, though, with the indictment, according to Mr. Ness, we are right in the middle of a new low. So, what was the end game? What were the last five banks on Blagojevich's list? Well, really, one big fat bank. The Fifth Third Bank of Obama's Senate Seat. Reading the indictment and the surveillance tape transcripts, it is Fort Knox. Babyface Blago was not going to let any other capos interfere with his final Big Score, especially that "mother***ker" the President-elect. There were many Contenders for the key to that vault. But Elliot Ness swooped in and took Blago in the middle of his Shredded Wheat breakfast, right in front of the lovely Mrs. Rod "Hold Up That Fucking Cub's Shit ... Fuck Them" Blagojevich. Graftus Interuptus.

According to the transcript, negotiations between Blago and The Contenders really began to heat up in the past two weeks. The tapes reveal conversations between all manner of pols, advisers, lobbyists, millionaires, former congressman, billionaires, and, of course, people within The Circle of The One. Blagojevich was a hair's breadth from trading his right to appoint the successor to Obama in exchange for a highly lucrative package of positions for he and his wife. And from our reading of the indictment, Obama's people were fully engaged in negotiations. For any doubters, it's a wonderful world into pay to play politics and Obama and his team of extraordinary change merchants are nothing new.

Which takes us back to G-Man Ness' "we want to stop it [the crime spree]" statement. Why? Why stop when so many willing participants can be brought into the web of corruption. After all, Fitzgerald kept his Plame/CIA investigation alive for two and a half years after he obtained information identifying Richard Armitage as the Plame name dropper. Somebody stepped in and saved Obama from supreme embarrassment if criminal conduct on the eve of The MOST HISTORIC INAUGURATION IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND AND THE UNIVERSE (say that with an echoing voice).

We are left to ponder whether Ness took it upon himself to halt this crime spree or someone else took it upon themselves to direct Ness to pull the plug tout de suite.

Ness went out of his way today to point out that President-elect-elect Obama had no knowledge of these shenanigans. None whatsoever. Mm, hmmmm. A politician borne of the Chitown Hustle has no clue that Blagojevich may try to shop his seat to the highest bidder and we are to believe that Obama won't be one of the bidders for his own cronies? What's truly unbelievable is that Obama, who knows, based on the testimony of Obama's friend, Blago bag man, and federal inmate Tony Rezko, that Blago walks around with one of those little dark rainclouds ready to burst over his head, doesn't stay as far away from Blago as possible, but has his people engage him so he can get his preferred candidate into the seat. He's still thinking the Chicago way. The President-elect of the United States. Kid's a punk. President Punk.