Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Celebrating Earth Day

So far today, Sydney Brillo Duodenum has celebrated the Earth's riches by:

- enjoying an extra three minutes in a near scalding hot shower

- washing a single towel (befouled by Sydney Brillo Dog) in the washing machine set to full load and hot water - twice

- replacing his childrens' "trash free lunches" with two Oscar Meyer/Kraft Lunchables boxes

- driving his children the one-quarter mile between his home and their school

- picking up Sydney Brillo Dog's morning elimination with a thick, 1,000 year life span plastic newspaper bag.

- drinking premium non-Fair Trade coffee for breakfast

- running in idle for ten minutes his second car - a Jeep! - to circulate the vehicles vital juices

- farting outside

- increasing rate of respirations to enjoy more bounteous, free air

- congratulating neighbor on her decision to buy her high school aged daughter a new Jeep instead of a Honda Civic

- eating two chocolate chip cookies that will keep him in the near obese category

- shopping online for a 46 inch LCD television

And it's not even lunch time yet!