Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Celebrating Earth Day
So far today, Sydney Brillo Duodenum has celebrated the Earth's riches by:
- enjoying an extra three minutes in a near scalding hot shower
- washing a single towel (befouled by Sydney Brillo Dog) in the washing machine set to full load and hot water - twice
- replacing his childrens' "trash free lunches" with two Oscar Meyer/Kraft Lunchables boxes
- driving his children the one-quarter mile between his home and their school
- picking up Sydney Brillo Dog's morning elimination with a thick, 1,000 year life span plastic newspaper bag.
- drinking premium non-Fair Trade coffee for breakfast
- running in idle for ten minutes his second car - a Jeep! - to circulate the vehicles vital juices
- farting outside
- increasing rate of respirations to enjoy more bounteous, free air
- congratulating neighbor on her decision to buy her high school aged daughter a new Jeep instead of a Honda Civic
- eating two chocolate chip cookies that will keep him in the near obese category
- shopping online for a 46 inch LCD television
And it's not even lunch time yet!