Hit Him With Your Stick

SBD's nemesis Saul Menowitz writes in with an anecdote about a conversation he had with his son. SBD always likes to hear about kids doing the right thing; about a parent's hard advice to their kid being followed through on.

Saul writes:

I think everything a boy needs to know about life can be learned by watching a Christmas Story: Don't stick your tongue on cold metal, your mom can be your best friend and protect you from the wrath of your father, TV and advertisers will take advantage of you, soap tastes horrible, stand up to bullies and yes, you will shoot your eye out with a BB gun. And I have proof of the second to last example:

Last night, as I was walking off the lacrosse field with my son, we had the following conversation:

Him: "Dad, there's this African guy named Napoo and he's from Africa and he's on my team."

Me: "Wait. He's from Africa or he's a black guy from the U.S. who's calling himself "African-American."

Him: "No, he's real African. Anyway, there was this other kid who was making fun of his name, calling him "Poo" and "Poop" and "Poo Boy."

Me: "That's not good. You didn't say that did you?"

Him: "No. I told the kid to shut up and how would it feel if his name was "Napoo" and people called him 'Poo?'"

Me: "And what did he say?"

Him: "He told me to shut up and called me stupid. And then I told him not to make fun of Napoo, esp. since he was on our team and then some of the other guys said yeah don't make fun of him."

Me: "And did he stop?"

Him: "No, he pushed me. He's kind of a bully"

Me: "And what did you do?"

Him: "I hit him with my stick. And then he looked like he was going to cry and he really shut up. He's kind of a bully. I remembered that scene in A Christmas Story and what you told me about standing up to bullies. It worked. Then later Napoo said thanks."

As I got to the car, I realized that maybe my son will not be a pussy like his father and will not have to endure taunts of "faggot," "gay boy," "homo" and "dick nose" because he is different. He may be different, but if anyone calls him names or makes fun of him, he will stand up to them and if necessary hit them with a stick. And he won't have to spend thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours talking to some psychiatrist about how he was a pussy and got picked on when he was a kid.

And this was after the coach pulled me aside and said that he wants my son to play on his traveling team, even though he just started playing this summer. "He gets it," the coach said. No one ever said that about me.

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As so much of his future rides on this election cycle, SBD intends to draw everything back to the election. Tonight, SBD wants John McCain to hit Barack Obama with his stick. The press would have us believe that John McCain is the bully in this story. No. Barack Obama is the big mouth; Barack Obama is the popular kid; Brack Obama is the know-it-all; Barack Obama is the back stabber; Barack Obama is the one with the unsavory friends; Barack Obama is the one calling people mean, old, demented, inexperienced, corrupt, and racist.

Hit him with your stick, Senator McCain.